colorado: packing flannel and preparing my heart

You know that rush you get when you hop on a plane for the first time headed towards a city you’ve always dreamed of visiting? Or the thoughts that go through your mind when you meet someone you just know is going to play a big role in your life? The “I don’t know what’s going to happen but my whole life is about to change” feeling? Yeah I’ve had a major case of this for about 3 months. Thoughts of gorgeous landscapes, hours spent fishing, and a full t e n  d a y s away from the monotony of day-to-day life have had me all but salivating. So I’ve packed like six flannel shirts and the cutest hiking boots I ever did see. My beanies are going to get some serious use and they’re definitely going to come back smelling like campfire. Did I mention no cell service or wifi? Yesssssss.

I’ve had to prepare my heart for this trip. When I’m there, I plan on taking myself on a date in the woods. Just me, my cameras, and my thoughts. You see it’s been a verrry long time since I was able to sit down and be real with myself. Although I was never this way as a child/teen, I’ve turned into the type of person who bottles things up until they become too much of a problem to handle with rationality and poise, so I end up having a neurotic breakdown about things that shouldn’t have been that big of a deal in the first place. It’s an unhealthy habit that has also allowed stress and cynicism to creep into the corners of my heart where I’ve never allowed them to roost before. There’s a lot of priorities to shift around, and a thing or two I need to let myself finally cry about. There’s things I need to forgive others for, as well as myself. I haven’t surrounded myself in quiet and peace outside of the yoga studio. So I decided t’s time to change how I do a few things. And there might be a little of this.

Photo Aug 15, 4 18 18 PM-1-2

bringing some of the kids

How could I not come home changed after being surrounded by so much natural beauty? And so many positive people? I’ll be in the company of 16 of them who love each other like crazy. Guys who set an example for one another, and women who uplift each other. I am constantly astounded by the way J’s family gets along. He and his three brothers are literally like best friends. His aunts and uncle are so loving and good. His parents adore each other. And his grandma… oh, that little southern belle. She is one of the kindest and most genuine women I have ever had the pleasure of being around. Her love is light a tight hug and hot chocolate with those tiny marshmallows on top. You know, like Christmas in a cup.

I don’t know what’s going to happen in Colorado (as I’ve been a good girl and tried not to plan too much), but I do know my time there will change me. I hope to walk away with wisdom, peace in my heart, and some whiskey-laced memories.

And definitely photos.

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